Engage in the Sacred Wrestle – D&C 19 — Life Experienced with Terri Anne Flint

I was in my BYU apartment when the surprising phone call came from my home ward bishop. I don’t remember the opening chat, only the sentence, “I think you should go on a mission.” My immediate thoughts were these: “But I already have a plan. I’ve been accepted to go to graduate school with a scholarship. I’m waiting for a missionary to come home. This isn’t the detour for me!” Then, the wrestle began.

Sacrifice is the test of true faith. It requires trusting there is a bigger picture, a celestial plan that can’t be seen or understood at the time of the giving. And if it is a real sacrifice, it will come with a sacred wrestle, between our will and God’s will–between today’s scene and a celestial view. Martin Harris sacrificed his property, his reputation and ultimately, his marriage to publish the Book of Mormon. In 1870, forty years after the Book of Mormon was published, Martin came to Utah and speaking in the tabernacle he exclaimed, "Who would have thought that the Book of Mormon would have done all this?"

Serving my mission was one of the hardest experiences of my life. I didn’t have one baptism, but I poured out my heart, bearing testimony to hundreds who stood at half-open doors. Unlike Martin, I haven’t seen the fruit of my labors, but this experience acquainted me with the wrestle of sacrifice. Years later, I’m still working on letting Him win.

“For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent. Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit–and would that I might not drink the bitter cup and shrink–” (D&C 19: 16, 18).

“Sacrifice is a demonstration of pure love. The degree of our love for the Lord, for the gospel, and for our fellowman can be measured by what we are willing to sacrifice for them” (Russell M. Ballard).

Engage in the Sacred Wrestle – D&C 19