Lay Down Your Weapons of War — Alma 23–29

Come, Follow Me: Book of Mormon 2024 (July 8-14)

While doing couples counseling, I’ve witnessed weapons of war being pulled out of a war chest. The intention is clear, “I’m hurt, so I’m going to hurt you.”  Common weapons include referencing past hurts and mistakes going back years, using generalizations of “always” and “never” and making no attempt to understand the other person, “I know what you feel, you don’t need to tell me.” 

These word weapons are effective. They harm the other person immediately with a flash bang and then continue to create slow burn damage well into the future. An ego battle won with these weapons destroys trust and safety, two elements required for healthy relationships.  

“…as many of the Lamanites as believed in their preaching, and were converted unto the Lord, never did fall away. For they became a righteous people; they did lay down the weapons of their rebellion, that they did not fight against God any more, neither against any of their brethren” (Alma 23: 6-7). 

Making the decision to lay down word weapons and bury them deeply in the ground is a sign of conversion–an act of thinking celestial. It requires focus on timely and specific behaviors with a desire to understand and find solutions that are respectful of both parties.  These may be new communication skills to many but are well-worth learning for yourself and those you love. 

Elder Ronald Rasband recently gave this promise to those who are ready to lay down word weapons:

“I promise that if we “feast upon the words of Christ” that lead to salvation, our prophet’s words that guide and encourage us, and our own words that speak of who we are and what we hold dear, the powers of heaven will pour down upon us. ‘The words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.’ We are Heavenly Father’s children and He is our God, and He expects us to speak with “the tongue of angels” by the power of the Holy Ghost.”

Do Hard Divinely Better Lesson #27: Learn the skill of assertive communication. To learn more, these books are worth reading, People Skills and Crucial Conversations.