The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
If my recent blog posts on control and influence have perked your interest, then you’ll want to read September’s Wise Words book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.
The book was first published in 1989 but continues to be a best-seller because of its timeless messages. Stephen Covey explained why the book’s content endures,“…the greater the change and more difficult our challenges, the more relevant the habits become. The reason: our problems and pain are universal and increasing, and the solutions to the problems are and always will be based upon universal, timeless, self-evident principles common to every enduring, prospering society throughout history.”
Having read (and am still reading) hundreds of books on self-development and growth, I always discover a Covey truth contained in each one. This is the self-help book from which others sprout. It’s what makes it such a wise book.
Here are a few of the principles that have changed my life:
“We are responsible for our own effectiveness, for our own happiness, and ultimately, I would say, for most of our circumstances.” The chapter on being proactive is my favorite because it establishes the paradigm that we are response-able for our lives.
“As we make and keep commitments, even small commitments, we begin to establish an inner integrity that gives us the awareness of self-control and the courage and strength to accept more of the responsibility of our own lives. By making and keeping promises to ourselves and others, little by little, our honor becomes greater than our moods.” This principle is why focusing on consistent, small steps is more effective than being inconsistent with big steps.
“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically, to say “no” to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside.” Our personal mission statement guides this important decision-making process.
Seek first to understand, then to be understood. “’Seek first to understand’ involves a very deep shift in paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They’re either speaking or preparing to speak.” “In empathic listening, you listen with your ears, but you also, and more importantly, listen with your eyes and with your heart. You listen for feeling, for meaning. You listen for behavior. You use your right brain as well as your left. You sense, you intuit, you feel.” Listening for understanding is our most powerful influential skill.
There’s a story of someone in the woods feverishly working to saw down a tree. After hours of hard work, a by-passer suggests that the person stop a few minutes to sharpen the saw. The answer is too familiar, “I don’t have time to sharpen the saw. I’m too busy sawing!” Ah! Self-care is taking time to sharpen the saw.
This book is so dense with truth and insight, you’ll want to take your time moving from chapter to chapter. I now use it as a reference book when I get lost or loose with my habits and I always discover something new to consider or to try.
Near the end of his life Covey was interviewed about the influence his book has had on thousands of people. I love his summary of what reading and living the principles of the book can have on each one of us, “The 7 Habits give people their lives back. They get back the power to choose. They explore and discover their deepest, most cherished purposes. They gain the tools to create and control their own future.”
This is why The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is worth reading (and re-reading).