Using a Peacemaker Pause — John 7-10

Come, Follow Me: New Testament 2023 (April 24-30)

When the scribes and Pharisees brought the woman taken in adultery to Christ, they weren’t looking for a helpful consultation. They wanted a confrontation. No doubt they were prepared to argue, rebuke, and judge whatever Christ would tell them. It wasn’t a matter of discussion; they were right, and He was wrong. 

Sound familiar? When was the last time you charged toward someone with righteous indignation or were the one being charged? With our prophet-led goal to become peacemakers, we need to learn and practice the skill of effective communication including conflict-resolution. The story in John 8:3-10 gives us the perfect example of one of these crucial skills.

Our first response to a verbal assault is to counter-respond with a heightened defense. This comes from our brain’s threat detector, the amygdala, and it automatically triggers flight or fight. By stooping down, writing on the ground, and not saying anything right away, Jesus demonstrated the power of the pause. Pauses give us space to take control of ourselves and to give the other person space to think about what they have just said.  

Taking deep, slow breaths, asking for a few seconds to gather your thoughts, or getting a drink of water are ways to pause. If the first pause doesn’t give you enough control, do it again, just as Jesus did. The pause gives your brain time to move to the frontal lobe where you can think rationally, listen closely, choose words carefully, and find ways to reconcile with charity. 

“Contention drives away the Spirit—every time. Contention reinforces the false notion that confrontation is the way to resolve differences; but it never is. Contention is a choice. Peacemaking is a choice. You have your agency to choose contention or reconciliation. I urge you to choose to be a peacemaker, now and always.” (Russell M. Nelson) 

Begin by choosing and practicing a peacemaker pause.