How to Do Gratitude Better — James

Come, Follow Me: New Testament 2023 (November 13—19)

While we know gratitude is highly connected to happiness, we often are mindless with our practice, especially in showing appreciation to others. To be socially acceptable, we often say the words, “thank you”, without real thought or attention to the situation or person. We may even be differential by giving notice to those we perceive as being “rich” while ignoring those we perceive as “poor.” 

“And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool…” (James 2:3).

With two simple and easy changes, you can become a “doer” of the “royal law” of loving thy neighbor as thyself: 1) Say the name of the person you’re speaking to while looking them in the eye, 2) Add the specific reason you’re grateful for the person or their actions. A mindless “thank you” to the restaurant server becomes, “Thank you, Bill, for paying such good attention to our needs. We didn’t have to wait for anything, and you were especially kind.” At home, this expression becomes, “Thank you, Kathy, for doing the dishes tonight without being asked or reminded.” At church, we could share, “I enjoyed your talk, Becky, especially the story you told about forgiveness.” 

Why bother making this change? Your gratitude for the people around you will grow and deepen which results in increased patience, kindness, and love. The person who hears your appreciation will know they were truly “seen” and their efforts count. Such great rewards for an effortless action. 

Remember this celestial reminder by C.S. Lewis, “It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship…It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.”