Doctor to a patient with complaints of fatigue: 

“Your medical tests came back fine. You just need to lose some weight and manage your stress better. Getting more exercise and sleep will also help with the problem. Come back in a month and let’s see how you’re doing.” 

Have you had this conversation or a similar one with your doctor? Maybe they believe you didn’t know you needed to lose weight, manage stress, move more, or go to bed earlier, and hearing it now will make a magical difference?  Or, that with these orders, you’ll certainly be able to make all of these changes within the next 30 days? And, if you can’t? Well, you might be one of those “non-compliant” patients or certainly one without sufficient willpower to do what’s right for your health.

I don’t believe there is any bad intent with this medical advice. I do know, however, that it’s not generally useful, possibly damaging, and the chances of change are minimal. It’s liking receiving a piece of music and being expected to come back and play the song in a month without any discussion of whether or not the person has a musical instrument or knows how to read notes on a page. While the “what” to change is clear, the “how” is completely absent.

Two barriers to changing this medical conversation are time and expertise. Physicians are trained to diagnose and treat with the most common forms of treatment, medication and surgery. They generally have not been trained in behavior change and if they have, time simply doesn’t permit them to apply it with institutional pressures to see more patients with shorter visits. 

The “How” of Change

I believe, then, it’s up to us to learn this “how” of change. To do those actions that improve our health, physical and emotional, we need more than the long list of changes we should make. We need to discover our system on how to change. Each time I encourage you to do something in my blog, I’m very mindful, that unless you have a system in place, the chances of long-term change are minimal. I want to help you discover the system that gives you the confidence you can change anything. 

To understand this concept better, I highly recommend this month’s Wise Words, Atomic Habits by James Clear. It’s the best book I’ve read on this subject and worth reading and re-reading.

Here are a few quotes from the book that clarify my thoughts above:

“Goals are about the results you want to achieve. Systems are about the processes that lead to those results.” 

“Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress.”

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”

It’s About the How

So many of us have given up on goals like eating more fruits and vegetables or doing regular physical activity because we’ve tried and failed. We’ve blamed and shamed ourselves into never setting a goal again.

But imagine looking back on those experiences and realizing we were expecting ourselves to play the piano, perfectly, on the first try! We didn’t realize that any change, any goal, requires a system that helps us move from where we are today to where we want to be in the future. 

For example, the goal of playing Chopin requires a piano, a teacher, piano music, time to practice, and an intention to persist when learning isn’t quick and easy. These details are the system and even the goal of increasing fruits and vegetables in our diet requires a system. 

Learning How

Atomic Habits outlines the elements of a behavior change system. Guilt or shame from past failures is replaced with new truths and insight about the pattern of forming habits. In every chapter, I discovered what I can do different or better with my current habits. His words boost my hope, and my energy, and every Thursday I look forward to his weekly newsletter, JamesClear.com.

The How of Hardiness 

Going forward, my goal is to blend the “what” of hardiness with the “how” of hardy habits and share the process with you. While I’ve taught the topic of hardiness and the topic of change separately, I’ve never taught them together. Boy, am I excited! I hope you are, too.

James Clear outlines the journey ahead: "The challenge for anyone interested in making progress is to simultaneously have (1) the confidence to go after what you want and (2) the humility to accept who you are right now and (3) the willingness to build skills that bridge the gap between 1 and 2."