While I was eating lunch in my car today, a black policeman walked by my car. I had an urge to do something, to say something, to not just let him pass without acknowledging what is happening in our country. But I didn’t have my thoughts in order and so I said nothing. This blog post is what I could have said.

Dear Police Officer:

Thank you for your service as a police officer. Thank you for keeping us safe and being there when we call for your help. Thank you for risking your life because we know you can lose your life, just as your fellow officer did a few weeks ago in Ogden. I don’t want you to go away. We need you. 

I don’t believe all policemen are bad, but I do believe aggressive, abusive, arrogant, behavior has to be addressed as early as possible with each person being held accountable for their actions. The police culture has to replace the attitude and actions of discriminating power and authority with the skills of respect for all, empathy, and de-escalation. 

As a black man, I don’t know your personal story, but I’d like to understand more the world you’ve grown up in and currently live in. Last week, I heard the stories of two mothers of young, black men. Tearfully, they expressed their constant fear when their sons walk out the door that they may not return safe. There is a code of conduct they plead their sons to follow: “Do what they tell you to do. Keep your eyes down. Don’t talk back. Don’t make any quick moves. Don’t make trouble.” Is this what your mother taught you? Is this what you have to tell your sons here in Utah?

How can this be possible in 2020? How did I not have any idea? I just cry to realize how far I am from your reality. I’m beginning to understand that I don’t understand anything at all. 

I’m not sure of all that I can do, but here is where I’m starting:

• I’ve begun to ask my trusted friends and family, “Where have I shown prejudice or judgement? Where are my blindspots? What do I say that expresses bias? Where am I unkind?” I welcome their feedback and am open to listening with my defenses down. I want to change. I want to uncover my biases and be intentional in revising them.

• I’m preparing what I will say when anyone around me expresses bias, judgement or outright meanness. I don’t want to be caught without words. “That’s a very big generalization. Tell me more about why you feel that way about that person or group.” “That statement seems unkind. Is that what you intended?” These statements are tough to come up with, I’m going to need some practice.

• I’ll be an active voter for this year’s elections. Having worked in a corporate environment, I know the power of a leader in setting the policies, procedures, and culture of a group. They set the tone as to whether any type of racism is tolerated. They create unity or divisiveness. We need leaders with character, morals, an openness to dissension and different points of view, and a believable vision on how to unite our country. I’ll be looking at the candidate’s past actions, not just their unrealistic promises.

Thanks for listening to me, dear police officer. I know I’ve rambled. Thank you again for your courage and your service. Now, if you have time, I’d like to listen to you. Tell me your story and your ideas on how we can all make our state and our country better.

Terri